Dear Readers,
I've only recently gotten back into writing a blog. It's been difficult to know what to say because I feel like so often I am caught in a cycle of doing the same things over and over again without much variety or interesting changes in my life. Despite this complete misconception on my part, when I think about it I do have so much to say I am just a lazy/hesitant creature and thus I do what is easy or comfortable instead of doing the things that I love or the difficult, but rewarding things in life.
For instance, while I was in high school I used to spend several hours a week doing art. I would create beautiful pictures and I saw the world in bright colors and vivid details, but somewhere along the way I lost my passion for it. I started watching more tv and spending less time building and creating. In my opinion we live in a world of development and growth. God's plan is to help us to choose wrong from right and to grow to become as He is. His gospel is a gospel of creation. He created the world. He created so many of our thoughts and all of the beautiful things in this world that inspire us. A couple of weeks ago I was teaching myself how to play one of my favorite hymns on the piano and even though it was very difficult I felt my heart swell and in through the cracks created by this swelling flowed streams of joy and inspiration. For the first time in a long time I wanted to build something, I wanted to create. At work I began to build with the Legos and design huge and intricate structures. At home I started a new artistic series featuring inspiring statements and pictures that embody those statements to me. I had broken out of the cycle of doing what is easy and was now doing what I loved. I feel so much more fulfilled and so much happier now than I did even a few weeks ago.
So much is changing for me now. I am becoming so much more than I ever was before. I don't have the words to adequately describe the joy that I feel so often now. I am rooting out the sloth, the pride, and the self-will that have for so long infected my soul and I am replacing these traits with hard work, humility, and trust in my Heavenly Father and in my Savior. As I more fully turn towards them for direction I feel their hands guiding my work and my progress.
My heart was hard for a long time. I didn't think of it like that, but as I look through my clean and new eyes I finally see that is how I was. I have softened my heart and am now continuing to let my heart swell and the years of layers of love and peace that have been layered around my heart by caring parents, family, friends, teachers, and church leaders is rushing in, causing my heart to grow. I love them. I always used to say the words, and from time to time I felt them, but now I feel so much more deeply than I ever did before that I do love them. As I say often to my friends who are far away, "I am so excited to see you again because when I do we will each be so much more than we are now. We will have a depth of character and love that we never before possessed and I am honored by the opportunity I will have to get to know you again." I hope that as people meet me now they are able to sense that depth of character again and that they can may feel my love for them.
I don't know you, but I love you with a sincere and powerful love. I pray for you often and hope that something I write will resonate with you.
Drew
No comments:
Post a Comment